Here you can find useful tips before you get on the plane!
Relocating to London
Things to do before you book your ticket
Research your profession in the UK
It is important you research what you need to do to allow you to work in your profession in the UK. Some professions may not require you to do anything while others may require you to sit a test, fill out paper work that could take months to process or in a worst case scenario your qualifications may not be recognised in the UK and therefore you may have to consider other work whilst in the UK.
To find out what you need to practice your profession contact industry association bodies and relevant industry recruitment agencies that can give you specific guidance.
Organise a relevant Visa/Passport that will allow you to work in the United Kingdom.
If you are a National (passport holder) from the European Economic Area (EEA) or Switzerland you are eligible to work in the United Kingdom. This link explains the rights of European citizens to work in the UK, Bulgarian and Romanian nationals need to apply for permission.
Those people who are not EEA Nationals may still be eligible to work in the UK but will need to obtain a working visa. These are split into various categories these being high-value migrants, Skilled workers, temporary workers, workers and business people from Turkey, other categories and Commonwealth nationals with UK ancestry. For information regarding UK working Visa click on this link.
Students can also work in the UK although are restricted with the hours they can work.
Things to do once you have booked your ticket
Short Term Accommodation
If you don’t have any friends that you can stay with than you will need to book accommodation, some options for sourcing this accommodation are listed below.
Scan and save your important documents
Any important documents such as passports, birth certificates, job references, insurance policies should be scanned and if possible saved in your email account so you can access them anytime online around the world. Important documents such as your original birth certificate are best left behind in a place easy for friends/family to locate if needed again.
Prepare for your job search
There are quite a few things you can do to make sure you hit the ground running with your job search and could even help you be one of the lucky ones who secures a job before they arrive. Click on our finding a job section in the menu above for more detailed advice.
- Update your CV and prepare versions targeting the specific jobs you are seeking.
- Place your CV on relevant job sites. (remember to amend once you have landed with UK phone and contact details)
- Develop a list of relevant agencies to contact on arrival.
- Use Linkedin to source companies and contacts you may wish to approach direct. Update your profile.
Things to do once you arrive in London
Get an Oyster card
Having an Oyster Card will help making travelling London's public transport system cheaper than buying individual tickets. An Oyster card can be obtained at any London Underground Station. For more information go to the Transport for London website.
Get a UK mobile Sim Card/Phone
One of the first things to do when you arrive is to get a UK sim card/phone so you can be contacted. To do research to make sure you get the best deal we suggest the following websites: Mobiles Direct and Affordable Mobiles. Note being new to the UK you may struggle to get a contract deal initially, meaning could only have access to pay as you go deals.
If you need to get your mobile Unlocked this service is online and gives you the instructions to unlock the phone yourself.
Organise a Bank Account
Getting your first bank account in the UK can at times be a touch frustrating, however it is not as hard as some relocation companies make out who charge for this service. Save money and go direct, you will need your passport and proof of address.Your employer or recruitment agencies can often help you get started by providing you with a letter as proof of your address.
Commence your job search
Ideally you should commence your job search as soon as you arrive, use our Finding a job section in the menu above for some tips to help you find the work you seek. You may need to look at temporary work whilst you wait for the right opportunity. On average it takes 6 weeks for a job seeker to find the work they seek although is a guide only as everybodies circumstances are different.
Organise a National Insurance Number
This is a number that will be unqiue to yourself and tracks your tax payments and national insurance contributions. It is likely you will need to make an appointment, click on the link for the information on applying for a national insurance number.
Register with a NHS medical centre (Doctor)
To see a specific doctor you will need to register with a NHS medical centre. To do this you will need a permanent address so wait until you get settled. If you need medical attention in the interim, NHS hospitals have walk in treatment centres which do not require you to register.
Find a place to live
If you have short term accommodation you are happy with it can be worth waiting until you have found employment or have an understanding of the likely area you will be working in before committing to any long term accommodation. This is so you don't get stuck with a ridiculously time consuming commute to work. Click the Find a Place to Live menu listed above to get more specific tips and advice.
Getting Around London
London has one of the best public transport systems in the world which makes it easy to travel to where ever you need to be. If you have a smart phone it is worth looking at our mostly free and recommended useful smart phone apps page that will make trekking around London even easier.
Transport for London Website
Transport for London provides you all the information you need to know about getting around London and includes an excellent journey planner tool that advises you on the best way to get to where you want to go. (Including an estimated time the journey should take)
Postcode System and Multi Map
A UK post code should have between 6-7 numbers and letters in it. The first two letters and 1-2 numbers indicate the general area whilst the last 3 numbers/letters indicate a specific area. e.g. The post code Sw6 1BW is that of Fulham Broadway shopping centre. SW6 is the general Fulham area post code. 1BW indicates the specific location. If you have a full post code you can pin point that location on an online map such as google maps.
A-Z Maps: provide pocket maps for the London and the UK. They can be purchased at any bookshop or newsagent.
Public transport System
The Underground (Tube) starts operating between 5.00am – 6.00am and ceases operation between 12.00am – 1.00am daily. Tube maps are present at all underground stations and are easy to use. The map is colour coded for each tube service which makes it easy to follow.
Overland Trains starts operating between 5.00am – 6.00am and ceases operation between 12.00am – 1.00am daily. Like the Underground, this service is pretty self explanatory and easy to use. Trains run 24 hours a day to Gatwick Airport from Victoria.
London Buses are easy to use and cover most of London. It can sometimes be quicker to use the bus to get to your location rather then using the tube. It is also likely your area will have a 24 hour night bus service from Piccadilly or Trafalgar square. Night buses are marked with an N in front of the bus number. It is advisable when moving house to check on the Transport for London website to see if there is a night bus service available.
Oyster card/Travel cards
Oyster card can be used on all London buses, tubes and overland train services within the London zone system. This is the cheapest way to travel around London. It is worth purchasing a weekly, 14 day travel card or monthly pass with the zones you are likely to most travel in frequently. If you have not purchased a daily, weekly, fortnightly or monthly pass it is still worth using the ‘pay as you go’ option whereby you can top up money onto the Oyster card as required. This will also make travelling cheaper. For example, travel on buses in London for one trip without an Oyster card will cost you £2.00 per trip, using an Oyster card will only cost you roughly half the price. (Note: not valid for any Airport express services).
Travel Cards can be used on the tube, overland trains and buses for the zones which you have purchased for as many trips as you like. While getting an Oyster card is very easy and should always try to be your first option, the next best thing to do to save money using the public transport system is to purchase either a daily, weekly or monthly travel card. If you only need to purchase a daily travel card, it is best to purchase it after 9.30am on the day (during off peak travel) as it will be much cheaper. (Note not valid for any Airport express services.)
Black Cabs/Mini Cabs
There are two types of taxis that operate in London: black cabs and mini cabs.
Black cabs are the uniformed black bubble looking taxis with the sign on top and separated seating from the driver. Black cabs can be expensive, so if an alternative mode of transport can be used that is cheaper it can be worth considering. The drivers are very knowledgeable in terms of roads and places of interest and should know most locations in London. If you are unfamiliar with the area you are travelling to, it sometimes may be worth using a black cab to get you to your final destination.
Mini cabs are often but not always a cheaper alternative to black cabs and provide a similar level of service as the black cabs. Mini cabs, in most cases, are unmarked cars without any signage but are marked with a mini cab licensed sticker on the back or front window of the vehicle. They can either be booked via phone or at a mini cab shop (these shops can be found in most areas along high streets). Mini cabs are all privately operated so you will need to find the mini cab service for your area. They should be able to tell you the exact price before your journey so ensure this is agreed upon before travelling. Be weary of the cost and the area you are travelling to or from as you may be ripped-off without even knowing.
Driving in London
If you can help it we suggest not driving around London because the govenrment use owning a car as some sort of legalised money rort. There is car tax, paying the council for street parking, parking fines, cost of parking if you can find a space, congestion charges for driving through central London, car insurance and the expensive price of heavily taxed fuel. On top of this it is partilcularly bad if you have anger management problems as my understanding is being stuck in traffic jams does not help this.
To transfer your drivers licence to a UK or International drivers licence go to Driver Vehicles Licensing Agency.
To find the best way to get somewhere and be notified of roadworks or traffic delays always use The AA.
Stranger Tip: Join a car rental club: If you feel you would like the use of a car without the ongoing expenses it can be well worth joining a car rental club such as streetcar.
Cycling in London
Cycling can be a great way to get around London and can actually be a faster way of getting around than driving! There are some great bike routes and paths that run through London’s many picturesque parks and along the Thames.
To find information on cycling routes go to the Transport for London website link here.
Find a Place to Live
Where to Live in London?
The biggest factor of where you live in London is going to be your commute to work. London’s transport links are excellent, however they are not perfect so put a strong weight on time travel to work when choosing a location to live in. How long do you want to have your head squashed underneath an armpit on your way home from work on a hot sweaty day?
Where to Find Accommodation
Estate Agencies: Register with estate agencies in the areas you are looking to live. Note they are likely to charge an administration fee. You can find these agencies using the websites listed above.
Resource Tools to help you choose possible locations to live
Rental Cost guide: Net Lettings gives you a rent price indication of different areas.
Council Tax Cost Guide: What katy Did gives you a council tax comparison
Area location guide: Living in London gives an area guide. Use it as a guide only.
Broadband/Internet/Home Phone Comaprison: Broadband Choices
Work to home Travel time guide: TFL Journey Planner
Questions to ask yourself when choosing a place to live
- What are the transport links like to my place of work?
- Is the location easily commutable or local to friends I know in London?
- How expensive is the council tax for the property?
- Is there park land nearby?
- What is the local nightlife/pubs like?
- Are any of our potential flatmates likely to put our underpants on their head when we are not home or have potential to make a suit out of our flesh like the guy from silence of the lambs?
- Is my deposit going to be placed in a tennancy deposit scheme?
Areas with good nightlife and Bars
Clapham Common/Junction, Shoreditch, Fulham/Chelsea, Notting hill/Bayswater, Camden, Central London/West End, Angel/Kings cross
Picturesque and Green Areas:
Richmond, Barnes, Hamspstead Heath (Beware the roads in Hampstead can be dangerous in the early mornings if George Michael decides to get some munchies)
Find a Job
It is important to develop a job search strategy when relocating to London and to do this you should look at a range of job seeking avenues such as: Online Jobsites (advertised Jobs), Recruitment Agencies, Direct Approach and Networking.
It is important toTailor your CV for the different roles/positions you are targeting to best sell yourself. Make sure it is free of spelling and grammar mistakes.
Tips for online jobsites:
There are over 700 online jobsites in the UK so find the ones that best suit your needs. Many of the jobsites allow you to place your CV online so recruiters can find you, you can also register for job alerts so that you will be made aware of any new potential opportunities.
- When placing your CV online try and place as many relevant key words that you feel recruiters may look for when searching for candidates. This could be job roles, software, certain skills, education etc.
- Once you have registered your CV online, log onto the jobsite every three to five days so that your CV remains relevant. The reason for this is recruiters can do searches based on time, so if you had not logged in for 9 days and the recruiters were looking for candidates within the last 7 days you would not come up in their search.
- Make sure your details are up to date and you have a relevant post code/address to where you will be nearest looking for work as recruiters can do location searches. If you currently live in Manchester but are moving to London, put a London post code in. If you don’t have one find one from a train station near to where you most likely want to live or if unsure a central London train station.
London Stranger recommends the following jobsites:
Excellent Generalist jobsites these cover a wide variety of jobs/industries (Reed, Monster, Total Jobs, CV Library, Gumtree -adverts only Secs in the City -more admin specific) IT/Engineering (Planet Recruit, Jobserve, Jobsite) Finance/Accountancy (E Financial Careers, GAAP, City Jobs) Personnel/HR (Personnel Today, Simply HR ) Public Sector Jobs (Public Sector Careers) Hospitality Jobs (The Caterer) Retail: (Retail Careers Retail Choice) Legal: (Totally legal) Healthcare Jobs: (NHS)
Note: Dont just register with the specialist jobsites as the generalists listed above can be equally useful to your job search.
Tips for recruitment agencies
Recruitment agencies play a prominent part in the UK job market so it is important to register with those that handle the most relevant vacancies to yourself.
- Register with as many as you feel fit, don’t get caught in the trap of depending on one or two to find you work.
- When sending your CV always follow up with a call to establish a personal connection with a recruiter.
- Once registered contact them every 3-5 days particularly if looking for temp work.
- Those seeking office based work are able to register face to face with high street agencies. (Office Angels, Reed, Brook Street etc). Applying directly face to face is an opportunity to make a great impression on recruiters and increase your chances of finding work quickly; so be positive, dress professionally, be friendly and build rapport to gain the recruiters confidence and give you an advantage over other temps.
Networking and Approaching Companies Direct
- Many jobs are found through word of mouth, so it is always worth contacting friends and colleagues you know in London to see if they are aware of any relevant job opportunities.
- Make sure you have your profile listed on linkedin with an up to date location. Make it as detailed as possible and don’t be afraid to put a personal email/UK mobile number on it so that those interested in your profile can easily contact you.
- An easy way of searching relevant companies is through Linkedin (do an advanced company search to source relevant companies.)
- Keep track of companies you are interested in and document which ones have a job board on their websites. Use those with job board as a guide only, as many companies forget to load new opportunities on their jobsites, some forget to take jobs placed off while others run there jobsites super efficiently.
Super stranger Tip: Even though you are relocating to a new city/country there are ways of developing a network quite quickly. If the industry you want to work on is having an exhibition or event get business cards(vista print can do this cheaply) made up and introduce yourself to those representing there companies at the event or exhibition. Collect business cards and send your CV to the contacts you met and built rapport with. Facebook is another useful networking tool.
How much should you be earning? How much will you earn after tax?
Use the website payscale as well as the knowledge of recruitment agents to get an idea of what you should be looking to earn money wise. Listen to Taxman will enable you to work out how much money you will get in your hand under the pay as you earn tax system.
On arrival in the UK your main goal should be to get a bank account open. Once you have achieved that task than it may be worth shopping around for the best deal for you in terms of interest, low charges and other benefits as it will be easier to open an account with all these organisations if you already have one open. Money Supermarket is another website that can assist in helping you choose which bank account is for best for you.
If you are struggling to get a bank account open 1stcontact are likely to be able to assist you in opening one up although you have to pay them a fee to do so. I would always try and do it myself first or through a recruitment agency that wont charge but can give you an introduction.
Importance of national insurance number
This is important for two reasons. The first is that it plays a part in tracking your tax contributions to ensure you are paying the right amount, if you don’t have a national insurance number than you will pay emergency tax (which you can get back). Secondly it is evidence you are a tax paying resident and as a contributer entitles you to the national health service. For more information on how to apply for a National Insurance Number click this link.
How much should I be earning?
To gage how much you should be earning, it is worth checking out the payscale website, searching relevant job advertisements and gaining advice from a few recruitment consultants who recruit for your field of work.
How much money should I get after tax?
Most employees are taxed under the simple PAYE tax system to get an idea what you should get after tax go to Listen to Taxman. If you are going to be working as a contractor, there are ways of reducing your tax through an umbrella or limited company, it is likely recruitment agencies will direct you towards relevant schemes. Do some research to check you can legally operate under a ltd or umbrella company and if so it may be worth shopping around to find the best scheme for you. Some of these companies will charge £1500 a year, some will charge less which means more money in your pocket.
Transferring Money Internationally
If you are looking to send more than a £1000 overseas it can be worth hunting around for the best rate rather than just doing it through your bank. The more you send will make it more worthwhile to play the companies off each other. Always factor in administrative fees and charges when working out what will be the best deal for you.
If you are driving/owning a car it is illegal not to be insured. Most other insurances are your choice and it is worth hunting for the best deal as well as the cover that best protects your needs. Money supermarket and go compare are two comparison websites that will compare prices from a range (not all) of insurance companies.
Disclaimer: This content is for basic guidance only and should be not viewed as financial services advice.
London has some of the best discounted dining in the world if you know what to do and where to look. Many restaurants will offer specials early in the week so it is worth keeping a look out when strolling passed restaurants.
Get a Taste card: A taste card will cost you up to £70 for a years subscription but can give you and your partner either a 50% discount or 2 for 1 deals at 100′s of restaurants in London. If you looking to be here a year and enjoy dining out it is a must. Taste card often run free trials so check there website even if you are only going to be here short term.
Budget Restaurants: go to our restaurants directory and go to our “Dining out on a Budget” category to find restaurants that offer real value for money.
Things you should know
Here are some things you should know, some important, some irrelevant and some where we have stretched the truth for your entertainment and a lot where you will think we have but sadly we haven't.
Drinking alcohol on the street is ok provided you are not drunk. Be careful. You can’t drink alcohol on public transport in London but can do so on national rail. If you are drinking on the train watch your step when it is time to depart.
It is a British custom to ask everyone in the group you are drinking with whether they would like a drink. This can make drinking with a big group expensive or cheaper for the tightarse who sits back, accepts and never buys a round.
If you wake up more than once a week confusing a kebab for your sexual partner it is time to get help and join Britain’s latest celebrities in rehab.
- Some drinking establishments need dancing licences so that their patrons can dance. This seems ridiculous until you see this and then you understand why London needs these laws.
- If you own a King Charles Spaniel it is legal to take into any public establishment in the UK.
The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen
- If you're pregnant (and a woman) in the UK then you are allowed by law to relieve yourself anywhere you want – even in a policeman's helmet
It could be regarded an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down
It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament
Tipping when dining out is voluntary but is common and in many cases the right thing to do. Just think of the staff having to deal with a Gordon Ramsay type yelling at them and understand they earn peanuts for this privilege! Some restaurants will add a 12.5% service charge to your bill, beware of adding a tip to this unless of course you want to. If you are disappointed with the level of service make the waiter/manager aware of this before you receive your bill as a way of justifying not paying the service charge or part of. If there is no service charge a tip of 10-15% is the common thing to do. Tip 20% if you are on a date and looking to impress as it could increase your chances of getting laid.
Other tipping is voluntary. Cab drivers the custom is to round up the fare to the nearest pound, loose change for the pizza delivery man and between £2 and £5 for hotel porters and maids. Travel guides as you see fit.
When riding the elevator stay on the right hand side unless you want to overtake other people, this is done on the left hand side. You stand out like a sore thumb if you stand on left hand side without moving.
Buying individual tickets for journeys is expensive to save money get an Oyster card or travel card.
The train tracks are electrified; unless you want to meet with Michael Jackson or Amy Winehouse steer clear of the tracks.
There is no public transport on Xmas day!
Mail is delivered 6 days a week! 1st class stamps are for next day delivery, 2nd class stamps are cheaper but take more time to deliver. When posting mail make sure you place it in the right box.
Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Years Day, Good Friday and Easter Monday are all public holidays. The UK also has three traditional bank holidays on a Monday falling on the first weekend in May, the last weekend in May and last weekend in August. British children seem to always be on holiday, this website will give you an idea of term dates.
- England has not won a major football tournament since 1966 when they beat Germany at Wembley for the world cup.
- Since then the fans have cried over Maradonna’s hand of God.
- David Beckham was the big hope but seemed more concerned with what different haircut he was sporting during major tournaments so that he and posh could sell more hand cream lotions.
- Manchester United always get 8 minutes extra time when they are losing, this is known as “Fergie Time”.
- Alan Hanson the BBC football pundit will always be critical of England’s performance even if they beat a full strength Brazil side 8-nil. I hope he does not comment the way he does on Football after he has had sex! "That was one of the worst performances......"
- The last Brit to win Wimbledon is actually believed to be a caveman in 1000BC. It was also Sue Barker’s first year as a commentator for BBC, prior to that she was a very sexy tennis player.
- Tim Henman used to give the country hope until his traditional choke at the business end of the tournament to let everyone down. Everyone who does not have Centre Court tickets used to watch on the hill now nicknamed Henman Hill.
- Now it’s time to cheer on Andrew Murray, as it might actually make him smile for the first time if he wins. He is British when he wins, Scottish when he loses. lets call him Scottish for now.
- England won the world cup in 2003. Johhny Wilkinson was the hero, he celebrated by having some Lemonade.
- In 2011 the players were more interested in dwarf throwing which is actually banned by the United Nations. Leave the little people alone and concentrate on Rugby.
- England players of the 1990’s and early 2000’s now sleep with the light on and check under the bed for Shane Warne who tormented them during this period and still gives them nightmares. Now he just shags their women and is nick named Wurley for his relationship with Liz Hurley. They were teased with headlines such as "Can anyone in England play cricket?" "I think Camila Parker Bowls".
- The team now communicates in Africaans and has become a very good. Those born in South Africa currently include Andrew Strauss, Johnathan Trott, Kevin Pieterson, Michael Prior. They have now turned their pain on the Australians and currently hold the Ashes.
- They were beaten by Ireland in the last World Cup even though Ireland don’t really play the game and England had their best player,Irishman Eoin Morgan!
- England were 20/20 world champions in 2010
The Brits are good at it and there is no one better than fabulous Phil Taylor.
Jordan: Also known as Katie Price has big boobs, gets married to a different guy each year and is an inspiration for the Chav community.
Ant and Dec: Are two british presenters who are witty and entertaining. No one in Britain knows which one is which but we love them.
Pudsey: There are two Pudseys and they are both very important. The first one is a very cute bear mascot for the “Children in need” charity and the second is Britian’s most talented person accept he is a dog who won Britain’s got talent.
Simon Cowell: It has been rumoured Simon Cowell has been admitted to hospital 5 times for wearing his trousers too high, however that is not why he is a celeb, it is because he is a highly successful music guru who has created many a talent show such as X factor that has left many in Britain captivated and many nauseated (Jedward).
Alan Sugar: Successful businessman and charismatic but scary boss (at least on TV anyway). I don’t know who would want to work for Alan but 12 people do every year in the British version of the Apprentice and its entertaining television.
Primrose Set: a group of celebrities based in London famous for their partying in the Nth London area. They include kate Moss (model with wafer thin body probably gained by a strict lettuce only diet) Jude law (Actor who has been highly successful despite clearly needing acting lessons) Rhys Ifans (Quirky Welsh guy who was Hugh Grant’s flat mate in Nottinghill) Sadie Frost (Famous for marrying Jude law and being in lots of films no one has ever watched) Holly Davidson (Actress/Sadie Frost’s sister) Ewan McGregor (Cool Scottish Actor) Sean Pertwee (Actor who’s dad was Doctor Who).
Callum Best is Super star footballer and professional party animal George Best’s son. Callum is famous in his own right for shagging lots of celebrity women and starring in trashy reality tv programs. All he does is party. You are not a C grade female celebrity until Callum has got down your pants.
Boris Johnson (London Mayor/conservative. Likable buffoon with big blond hair but should he be in charge? Pretty sure the answer is no but he is entertaining and we love him.)
Ed Milliband (defeated his brother to be Labor Party Opposition leader. If his own family can’t decide who the best politician is, how can Labor? Also known as Red Ed. God can only help the UK if this Union puppet ever becomes PM)
David Cameron (Prime Minister and wet blanket conservative)
Nick Clegg (Deputy PM and wet blanket leader of the Liberal Democrats who admitted at night he puts on music a cries. Yep that is the leadership Britian needs)
George Gallaway (Former Labor MP now an independant MP, best friends with Sadam Hussain and famous for pretending to be a cat on celebrity big brother)
You will need freeview digital TV or decoder/aerial or cable TV so you can watch TV but this will give you more choice. Channel 5 is dedicated to Steven Seagal movies, men who like hairy women documentaries or feeders and their well over weight partners.
You need to get a television licence which pays for BBC.
The independent and Guardian (for those on the left), The Times and Telegraph (for those on the right) Daily Mail and Daily Express (Are both for those worried about illegal immigrants) The Daily Star and The Sun (for those who like boobs and trashy television news). The Mirror (easy reading without boobs) The Observer (no idea not sure anyone has ever actually read it) Evening Standard (London paper that comes out in the evenings) Daily Mash (The way the news should be reported. Entertaining, not serious but fun)
The British use a lot of slang words and sayings that are not very common in other English speaking countries. There is cockney slang which are sayings that rhyme with the word they are meaning to say e.g if someone says to you you’re having a giraffe they mean you’re having a Laugh.
The British use too many unique English words and sayings to list, so we have made a shortlist of the ones we feel you should learn and know.
Ball and Chain: wife or girlfriend
Banger: Is a sausage. E.g Bangers and mash
Bill: is the police.
Blag: to con or scam
Bollocks: add the to the start and it means good, without “the” it means rubbish/nonsense.
Chav: Council housing and vulgar (some say violent). You will know when you see one. They are in decline since many went to prison over the London riots for stealing stuff like socks. Not one book store was damaged in the London riots, which says a lot about the Chav community. They are usually unruly, young and uneducated and dress in designer sports wear.
Chelsea Tractor: An expensive SUV/4 Wheel Drive.
Crown Jewels: Testicles/genitals
Donkeys Years: A long time
Doss: to sleep rough. E.g. “I’m dossing on my friends couch”
Dutch Oven: Farting under the sheets.
The Fuzz: Police
Gaff: Somebodies house.
Geezer: Term for a man (a diamond geezer is a great man)
Guvnor: is the boss.
Hair of the Dog: to resume drinking the morning after a big night and hangover
Innit: A questioning statement
Jammy Bastard: Someone who is lucky.
Jubblies: Breasts for a women, you would not refer it to chicken meat. “Check out her jubblies.”
Lock in: Being one of the chosen few allowed to stay and drink after the pub closes.
Minging: Unpleasant, smelly, dirty, ugly.
Muppet: an idiot
Nutter: A fool or idiot.
Pants: no good. “that film was totally pants”
Pikey: a traveller/gypsy usually from Irish descent who lives in a caravan based community. They are not popular when they decide to reside in your town/area. Think Brad Pitt in Snatch.
Plonkers: a fool or idiot
Rough as a robbers dog- unpleasant or ugly person
Scarper: To exit hurriedly. Make an escape. “We had to scarper out of there.”
Shag: to have sex with someone. “Did you shag that girl last night?”
Snog: a long passionate kiss.
Soap Dodger: Someone who does not shower; and who is likely to be an unkempt and smelly person.
Sod Off: Go away
Spliff: a joint, marijuana cigarette
Take the Piss: to ridicule, make fun or tease. And Someone who exploits someone else. “The government is taking the piss with these taxes.”
Tight as a ducks arse: cheap, miserly with money e.g. water tight.
Toff: a wealthy and rich person of the upper class. Likely to wear Rupert the bear trousers.
Twat: an idiot
Twatted: very drunk
Wanker: an idiot
Wife Beater: Stella Artois beer, for the effect it has on some people.
Wobbly: a fit of anger. “stop throwing a wobbly”
Wags: refers to wife and girlfriends of stars. Originated from English Football.
Yardie: Jamaican underworld gang member.
Cockney (Rhyming )Slang
“Ayrton Senna”- is ten (tenner) pounds
“Battle Crusier”- is another name for a pub as it rhymes with Boozer.
“Butchers Hook”- means to have a look.
“Frog and Toad”- Road
“Having a Girraffe”- means having a laugh
“Lady Godiva”- 5 pounds (fiver)
“Pete Tong”- wrong.
“Ruby Murray”- Curry
“Trouble and strife” – wife